I love to watch movies, especially at the cinema. As well as being entertained by the stories I learn a lot from them too. One of my favourite movies, for many reasons, is Ground Hog Day. The central theme to the story is that the central character is a little mean and nasty and finds himself in a position where he keeps having to live the same day over and over again until he gets it right and then he can move on with the rest of his life.

The movie has a lot of meaning for me because I think we all have challenges that keep showing up in our lives in one shape or another and it is only when we change that we take the learnings and can move to the next level. In this movie the central character wants to win over the girl who at first has no interest in him other than on a professional level and even then the relationship is strained. He is a little egotistical and appears to think the whole world revolves around him.

He decides to win her over and begins his chase. Each day he finds out a little more about her and pretends that they have things in common. He uses his rapport skills he slowly wins her trust. She is touched by his words and that he seems to know her so well. In the end, however, he is unable to fully win her over because he cannot help his true character from shining through.

The girl realises she has been manipulated and her opinion of him is even worse than when it first began. He then proceeds to give up the chase and start to helping people for the sake of it rather than how it looks. When she notices this she starts to pursue him. It is she that does the chasing. He has become incredibly attractive to her. His displaying some softer aspects of himself has made him attractive to both men and women. He is no longer a threat.

There are many learnings for soft selling that can be drawn from this movie.

The first thing is that the more insights that you can get about your prospects and clients the more you can relate to them. We will look at some techniques that can help you to really understand your prospects and customers and where they are coming from and speak to them on their level in their language.

The second thing is that relating and having rapport does not mean that someone trusts you. It just means that at that moment in time you are communicating at the same wavelength. Rapport is important but trust is something that builds over time and can be lost in an instant. The only way to be sure of being trusted in to be trust worthy. Worthy of being trusted. In this chapter we will look at how to improve your general trust worthiness.

The third thing is that there is strong business benefits by taking full responsibility for your actions and the reactions you get. If people treat you in a certain way or behave in a certain way with you then it is all good information that you can work with even if it, at first, seems negative.

May everyday be a Groundhog Day!!