It may seem very tempting to buy into the view that there is a process for everything, but when it comes to relationships it’s not that simple. We are not machines and we do not respond well when treated like one.

Don’t get me wrong. Processes are important and I spend a lot of time helping businesses improve their sales processes. I just want to get across the point that we need to be careful to remember that we are working with emotional human beings.

One of the biggest myths in sales these days is that if you match another person’s body language you will develop rapport with the other person. The result is you have people who are blindly following this process not realising that they are making the situation even worse.

In order to build a relationship both parties need to relate to each other. If the same person using the matching techniques were to seek to relate to the other first then the matching would help to make things run even smoother. Without the relating, the relationship never stands a chance. Without opening up and exposing youself to rejection then there will always be something missing.

At the very root of relating is empathy and being able to see things from the other person’s perspective. Until you can do that you are wasting your money on improving sales techniques and processes.